Mammograms (why my first was my last)

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line,)
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine.
"
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vice!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.

Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion, and I am not suggesting anyone follow suit. I’m simply sharing what is right for me and why.

When I told my nurse practitioner I don’t want to do colonoscopy, she didn’t push. A stool exam will suffice. But when I said I didn’t want to do mammograms, she pushed and pushed (she’s seen lives saved, there’s less false positives now) and scare tactics (surgery! radiation! chemo! death!!) mind you I was there for a routine exam.

I felt bullied and pushed into screening, and treated like I was stupid  because I know the facts and refusing to be railroaded.

Finally I said "Yes... Radiate my boobs, won’t you?, I have very high expectations of that being a solution"...Not trying to be rude, but….I wonder how many men would end up with testicular cancer if their testies were subjected to the ‘smashing’ we have to endure to our breasts.

They had so much trouble getting a good picture, the tech would retake it again and again.The pressure that the mammogram machine puts on each breast when it's being compressed is equivalent to putting a 50-pound weight on your breast. After multiple tries, I became agitated. I mean didn't these people go to school for this stuff?? In my mind this should be a breeze for her with the amount of women filing thru this room in the short time I was there. 

Finally she knew by my evil stare, I was done with this barbaric  procedure and refused any more radiation. She called in another lady who assured me she was a pro and  just one more picture would be it. I couldn't help but think "Where the %$@# were you 15 minutes ago, and who is this other lady, and why does she suck so bad at her job?" 

So then the pro lady left after taking that one last picture, and the sucky lady says "Just so you know about 95% of the first time mammograms get a call back that they have to come in for more pictures."..My eyes saw red...I assured her I would NEVER be back for any reason...I was done.. don't waste your time on that call...lose my number...

Screw that ... the next morning I had bruised double D's...I still received a call from the hospital and a letter to reschedule, I decided it stops here. I’m not having any further tests. I know I’m healthy.

I’ve always found it concerning that women are just expected to file in as directed like ignorant sheep and many women are even coerced into this testing, and now I was just pissed I succumb to it...

After receiving a call from the hospital and a letter to reschedule, I decided it stops here. I’m not having any further tests. I know I’m healthy.

Seems to me counter-intuitive to Xray repeatedly to prevent cancer.

Few doctors take the time to mention the risks of mammography.

We're exposed to small doses of ionizing radiation from natural sources all the time — in particular, cosmic radiation, mainly from the sun, and radon, a radioactive gas that comes from the natural breakdown of uranium in soil, rock, water, and building materials.

~Mammograms expose you to low-dose radiation

~Mammograms aren't always accurate

~Having a mammogram may lead to additional testing

~Screening mammography can't detect all cancers

~Not all of the tumors found by mammography can be cured

~Mammography can also help spread existing cancer cells     due to the considerable pressure placed on the woman’s   breast during the procedure

The Swiss Medical Board now advises against routine mammogram screening for most women. Still, many earlier studies found that screening for breast cancer does prevent death from the disease in some people—making the topic controversial to discuss and confusing for women. The Swiss Council’s proposal is that there should be no systematic mammography programs and a time limit for the existing programs. In addition, they said that the quality of all mammograms should be assessed and clear information should be given to women about the advantages and disadvantages of mammography. I sure wish the US would do the same ..

I understand that mammography has been the gold standard for years. Doctors use this test, and many believe that a mammogram is the best test for detecting breast cancer early. But it's not. Studies show that a thermogram identifies precancerous or cancerous cells earlier--and it doesn't hurt the body. Isn't this what women really want?

In the future I will opt for thermography

There is no squeezing, just three photos, plunge your hands in a bag of ice water (no water touches you, just the cold), followed by three more photos.

Research indicates that thermography can find potential cancer spots 8 years before conventional mammography does. It is true that insurance doesn’t pay for it …. yet

 I don't want to be told I "have something" and then be told that no one knows whether it will become "something more" and then be forced to make a decision about whether to "live knowing it's there" or "submit to drastic treatments." I would rather be happy and not be told anything and not be forced to make that decision.....  
I will take my chances and be happy.

*Please note this is only my opinion. Do your own research, play devil's advocate and get as much information as you can. Then make that educated decision about what is best for your own personal health. Remember no one knows your body better than you.

Spotted Green Puffer Fish ~What you need to know

Green Spotted Puffer Tetraodon nigroviridis, spotted puffer, or leopard puffer as it’s also called ~is a unique fish. Its back has a bright green color that contrasts beautifully against its white abdomen. The green spotted puffer, like most puffers, has some personality –  it recognizes its owner and becomes very active when they see me. The pug-like dog face with slightly bulging eyes and petite little mouth give it a cute peevish expression. It is very playful, active, and curious making it a joy to watch. It will come to recognize its owner, getting excited when it sees you. It will quickly steal your heart, yet this is not an easy fish to keep as it has very specialized requirements for its care.

This little cutie can be found across Southeast Asia. Despite the fact that this species is frequently kept in freshwater tanks and sold as a freshwater fish by many retailers, this is a brackish fish. They inhabit brackish coastal estuaries, lagoons and river and stream openings.

"Freckles"

Meet Meatball (the biggest one}, Sprinkles and Freckles...our new green spotted Puffer Fish!!

Little did I know a trip to Walmart for paper towel would turn out so costly...

Oh Lawdy!!!What have I done...

I walked past the fish tanks just as they were adding their new shipment...I had my glam daughter along and of course she wanted to see the "fishies"...we watched as all the baggies were taken from the foam coolers they arrived in and were floated in each appropriate tank  . My eye caught these adorable little  green chubby fish covered with black spots...well anyone that knows me knows how much I love a cheetah print, and these little guys were right up my alley.I was hooked!(pun intended)

I asked the girl how hard it was to keep these little guys, and she said "Oh really easy. They are fresh water and eat tropical fish flakes"...easy peasy, right???

Well... how could I resist??

I came home to do more research after which they were already added to my tank of Goldies (the pond fish that I bring in for the winter) ..

I found out she could not have been more WRONG..

Now comes the costly part...

I had no idea Green Spotted puffer fish....

~Need at least 10 gallons per fish...some say 20...yikes!
~Need Brackish water(half salt water)(I had to buy special salt and testing equipment $$$)
~Eat just about any tank mate(now I needed to buy them their own house $$$$)
~GROW TEETH
~Owner may have to trim said teeth!!!oh hells no...
~Are carnivores
~Eat live prey like shrimp,clams, snails,etc.{ya..that is not happening}
~Need to have very clean water that must be monitored often.(I needed a better filter system$$$)
~Very susceptible to diseases due to their  lack of scales...(I found out a couple days later mine were sick and the tank needed to be treated with numerous different medicines $$$$$$)

I honestly wish Walmart would take the time to know what they are selling, and educate their employees...I have to wonder how many people are set up for failure to the demise of these little creatures.I am so attached now, that if they die , I will be very upset for a long time...

So I now had to treat all the fish including my Goldies ,as I have no idea what they have...I do not think it is ick, and was unsure if it was a fin rot due to a bacteria, or if other fish had just nipped them from being in such close quarters in transit...fingers crossed everyone makes it thru this process alive...

I will keep this post updated...thanks for stopping by...

This is what happens when you watch the fish too long...you are getting sleepy...very sleepy...then ya just pass out...#TVforCats

P.S. Just a word of warning if you buy live crickets for puffer food...they can and will chew thru the plastic bag they come in from the store!!!((Don't even ask how I know that))))



UPDATE...
As of 1.7.19 , these lil guys are getting so big...they have big appetites, so I have added snails to their diet.

A Christmas Story Leg Lamp

One of my family’s favorite holiday movies is A Christmas Story.

Okay, who doesn’t love this movie? And who doesn’t love that for 24 hours on December 24th you can turn on TBS and find yourself in the middle of it?

I was driving down the road one day and saw a leg lamp in someone’s window. I turned around and drove past again to verify that’s what I was actually seeing. I then laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. I knew then, I just had to have one...

All of the big 50 inch lamps run around 200.00... and...ya, that isn't an option for me.

                     I had a leg in the garage from my glamper table...

I have removed the dinette in my little camper, and added a couch instead, so the leg wasn't being used anyway. 

I found a lamp kit on clearance at Walmart for 5 bucks.The rest of the stuff I had...I used an old shade from another lamp, and an old black shoe I had that squished my toes anyway, so they were just wasting space.I did have to get a brace bracket and a few screws , but all in all it cost around 10 bucks and a couple hours of my time.

 

Inside view...

Outside view....

~Good Times....

Marble Contact Paper Counter top DIY

Soooo....I love Carrara marble, and frankly 
this was the only way I was gonna get it...

So who doesn't love a 5 dollar marble counter top??? 

You sure could do this for a dollar with the contact paper from the dollar store, but I found the Duck brand is much thicker, and for a 4 dollar difference, it  was worth the "splurge" lol.

My counter was original to the house and made of pieces of wood...ughh....I always painted it white, but what a bugger to keep clean.I usually keep a runner on it,so I could just throw it in the wash.

Shelf liner/ contact paper can be used on any surface which smooth clean and dry .

Wood cabinets,drawers,walls,windows,glass, counter tops, and so on. It is best applied it at room temperature for best results.

cabinets,drawers,walls,windows,glass and so on. It is best applied it at room temperature.

Sand down rough surfaces before sticking.Using mild soap and water to clean large surfaces,then wipe down with some rubbing alcohol. Make sure it is dry.

Measure the surface to cover. Cut the right size and leaving about 1/2 inch extra overlap on all edges .

Peel off the backing paper evenly with one hand while smoothing the film to the surface. Using another hand, from the center to edges. I use a soft cloth, or a credit card , removing the creases and air bubbles by applying light pressure from the center to the edges.You can always lift it back up and redo it if needed.

I cut the paper with the back still intact to fit the counter

I then cut half the back off .then flipped the top part over to fit and pressed it down with a cloth.Do the same with the other half..

I used an exacto knife to trim edges.

The corners I slit up to the top ...

I then cut the slack off.

If you have any parts that do not stick use this stuff...It works great on keeping the seams down also.

I sealed the counter with this sealer in a high gloss finish using 2 coats for added durability. .

I LOVE IT!!!

Planets/Solar System Children Crochet Hat FREE PATTERN

This hat fits a childrens size 2 to 5 years old...my glam~son is 4...

         YARN SALE!!!          WOOO HOOOO!!!

 I used wooden buttons from Walmart for the planets. I  sanded them , painted with acrylic paint, then sealed them with an auto clear sealer for durability.

 Saturn's ring is made from Baked Sculpey clay, then glued on with 2 part clear epoxy.

 The star buttons also came from Walmart. I painted the dark blue ones a lighter blue so they would show up against the blue yarn...

 The pom pom...(SUN) was made from yellow and orange yarn...

Abbreviations

Ch – chain

Sc – single crochet

dc –double crochet

Dec 1 – decrease 1 st

Inc 1 – increase 1 st

Sl st – slip stitch

Hood 

Chain 36 

Row 1:dc in 3 ch from hook, dc across, ch 2, turn = 34 dc 

Rows 2 – 10: dc across, ch 2, turn = 34 dc 

Row 11: dc the first 15 sts, inc 1 for next four sts, then dc to end = 38 dc 

Fold long sides together, sl st the edges together. 

Turn the hat so the seam is inside.

Neck/ Scarf

Join yarn at the lower left corner, (looking straight at the hood), ch 7, join with opposite corner, making sure not to twist the chain! and sc around = 33 sc, 7 ch 

Round 2: Sl st into join, ch 2, dc across the chains, dc around, sl st into first dc, ch 2 = 40 dc 

Round 3: dc around, DO NOT CH 2 

Round 4:  sl st into first dc, ch 2, dc 9 sts, inc 1 st, around, sl st into first dc, ch 2 = 44 dc 

Round 5: dc around, DO NOT CH 2 

Round 6:  sl st into first dc, ch 2, dc around = 44 dc 

Rounds 7 – 9 : dc around, sl st into first dc, ch 2. 

End off on Round 9.