Mammograms (why my first was my last)

For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram.
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line,)
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine.
"
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vice!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steamrolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out.

Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion, and I am not suggesting anyone follow suit. I’m simply sharing what is right for me and why.

When I told my nurse practitioner I don’t want to do colonoscopy, she didn’t push. A stool exam will suffice. But when I said I didn’t want to do mammograms, she pushed and pushed (she’s seen lives saved, there’s less false positives now) and scare tactics (surgery! radiation! chemo! death!!) mind you I was there for a routine exam.

I felt bullied and pushed into screening, and treated like I was stupid  because I know the facts and refusing to be railroaded.

Finally I said "Yes... Radiate my boobs, won’t you?, I have very high expectations of that being a solution"...Not trying to be rude, but….I wonder how many men would end up with testicular cancer if their testies were subjected to the ‘smashing’ we have to endure to our breasts.

They had so much trouble getting a good picture, the tech would retake it again and again.The pressure that the mammogram machine puts on each breast when it's being compressed is equivalent to putting a 50-pound weight on your breast. After multiple tries, I became agitated. I mean didn't these people go to school for this stuff?? In my mind this should be a breeze for her with the amount of women filing thru this room in the short time I was there. 

Finally she knew by my evil stare, I was done with this barbaric  procedure and refused any more radiation. She called in another lady who assured me she was a pro and  just one more picture would be it. I couldn't help but think "Where the %$@# were you 15 minutes ago, and who is this other lady, and why does she suck so bad at her job?" 

So then the pro lady left after taking that one last picture, and the sucky lady says "Just so you know about 95% of the first time mammograms get a call back that they have to come in for more pictures."..My eyes saw red...I assured her I would NEVER be back for any reason...I was done.. don't waste your time on that call...lose my number...

Screw that ... the next morning I had bruised double D's...I still received a call from the hospital and a letter to reschedule, I decided it stops here. I’m not having any further tests. I know I’m healthy.

I’ve always found it concerning that women are just expected to file in as directed like ignorant sheep and many women are even coerced into this testing, and now I was just pissed I succumb to it...

After receiving a call from the hospital and a letter to reschedule, I decided it stops here. I’m not having any further tests. I know I’m healthy.

Seems to me counter-intuitive to Xray repeatedly to prevent cancer.

Few doctors take the time to mention the risks of mammography.

We're exposed to small doses of ionizing radiation from natural sources all the time — in particular, cosmic radiation, mainly from the sun, and radon, a radioactive gas that comes from the natural breakdown of uranium in soil, rock, water, and building materials.

~Mammograms expose you to low-dose radiation

~Mammograms aren't always accurate

~Having a mammogram may lead to additional testing

~Screening mammography can't detect all cancers

~Not all of the tumors found by mammography can be cured

~Mammography can also help spread existing cancer cells     due to the considerable pressure placed on the woman’s   breast during the procedure

The Swiss Medical Board now advises against routine mammogram screening for most women. Still, many earlier studies found that screening for breast cancer does prevent death from the disease in some people—making the topic controversial to discuss and confusing for women. The Swiss Council’s proposal is that there should be no systematic mammography programs and a time limit for the existing programs. In addition, they said that the quality of all mammograms should be assessed and clear information should be given to women about the advantages and disadvantages of mammography. I sure wish the US would do the same ..

I understand that mammography has been the gold standard for years. Doctors use this test, and many believe that a mammogram is the best test for detecting breast cancer early. But it's not. Studies show that a thermogram identifies precancerous or cancerous cells earlier--and it doesn't hurt the body. Isn't this what women really want?

In the future I will opt for thermography

There is no squeezing, just three photos, plunge your hands in a bag of ice water (no water touches you, just the cold), followed by three more photos.

Research indicates that thermography can find potential cancer spots 8 years before conventional mammography does. It is true that insurance doesn’t pay for it …. yet

 I don't want to be told I "have something" and then be told that no one knows whether it will become "something more" and then be forced to make a decision about whether to "live knowing it's there" or "submit to drastic treatments." I would rather be happy and not be told anything and not be forced to make that decision.....  
I will take my chances and be happy.

*Please note this is only my opinion. Do your own research, play devil's advocate and get as much information as you can. Then make that educated decision about what is best for your own personal health. Remember no one knows your body better than you.